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"You really took
the grit and
massaged it into
a pearl...thanks!
—Judy Surber,
editing client
the grit and
massaged it into
a pearl...thanks!
—Judy Surber,
editing client
 |  |  |  |
editing services
Sample 1
UNEDITED VERSION:
The health of a watershed is similar to our own personal health.
We can’t possibly know all of the risk factors that may affect us
personally. But we do know of the long term trends that keep
us healthy and so we eat right, exercise and get regular
checkups. (Shelly – I don’t know if this personal health metaphor
works – feel free to ditch it or elaborate.)
As we face the challenge of managing our water we will be
faced with choices. But as we face those choices we must
realize that we are mandated to consider the needs of people,
farms and fish. We must look for ways so that all three can
share the water and cohabitate.
EDITED VERSION:
Note the addition of a parallel structure in paragraph 2 that
extends the health metaphor and emphasizes the main point.
The health of a watershed is similar to our own personal health.
We can’t possibly know all of the risk factors that may affect us
personally. But we do know the results of scientific studies that
study human health, and so we eat right, exercise and get
regular checkups. We ignore these recommendations at our
own peril.
As we address the challenge of managing our water, we will be
faced with difficult choices. To help us make decisions, these
choices will be paired with advice from experts who have
studied their effects. These experts may be fisheries
scientists, geologists and hydrologists, or longtime farmers.
We ignore their recommendations at the watershed’s peril.
Shelly subcontracted to HydroLogic Services Co. (HSC) to
produce a four-part series of articles that would orient citizens
to the complex issues surrounding water management. HSC
helped the Washington State Department of Ecology with the
public process to adopt an instream flow rule for the Quilcene-
Snow Watershed (WRIA 17).
Read the four articles, which were introduced in Spring 2007
prior to a series of public meetings.
UNEDITED VERSION:
The health of a watershed is similar to our own personal health.
We can’t possibly know all of the risk factors that may affect us
personally. But we do know of the long term trends that keep
us healthy and so we eat right, exercise and get regular
checkups. (Shelly – I don’t know if this personal health metaphor
works – feel free to ditch it or elaborate.)
As we face the challenge of managing our water we will be
faced with choices. But as we face those choices we must
realize that we are mandated to consider the needs of people,
farms and fish. We must look for ways so that all three can
share the water and cohabitate.
EDITED VERSION:
Note the addition of a parallel structure in paragraph 2 that
extends the health metaphor and emphasizes the main point.
The health of a watershed is similar to our own personal health.
We can’t possibly know all of the risk factors that may affect us
personally. But we do know the results of scientific studies that
study human health, and so we eat right, exercise and get
regular checkups. We ignore these recommendations at our
own peril.
As we address the challenge of managing our water, we will be
faced with difficult choices. To help us make decisions, these
choices will be paired with advice from experts who have
studied their effects. These experts may be fisheries
scientists, geologists and hydrologists, or longtime farmers.
We ignore their recommendations at the watershed’s peril.
Shelly subcontracted to HydroLogic Services Co. (HSC) to
produce a four-part series of articles that would orient citizens
to the complex issues surrounding water management. HSC
helped the Washington State Department of Ecology with the
public process to adopt an instream flow rule for the Quilcene-
Snow Watershed (WRIA 17).
Read the four articles, which were introduced in Spring 2007
prior to a series of public meetings.
Getting the words right...that's Shelly's skill and passion.
Her touch on a text goes beyond simple copy-editing to
substantive improvement of the work as a whole. Here are
a few samples of phrases Shelly has edited and improved
while carefully maintaining the voice of the original author.
Her touch on a text goes beyond simple copy-editing to
substantive improvement of the work as a whole. Here are
a few samples of phrases Shelly has edited and improved
while carefully maintaining the voice of the original author.
Sample 2
UNEDITED VERSION:
Few ambulatory people are truly sympathetic to the challenges of
wheeled transport. Friends and family must be trained not to move
your walker or to put things out of your reach. Everyone has to adjust
to new routines, even your pets. Let’s be clear, cats are not amused
by wheeled devices with uncoordinated operators at the helms. The
world is not built for those of us who can’t walk. Steps are everywhere,
doorways are too narrow, counters are too high.
EDITED VERSION:
The above paragraph needed reordering for clarity, plus the
addition of paragraph breaks and one transitional sentence.
The world is not built for those of us who can’t walk. Steps are
everywhere, doors are too narrow, counters are too high. Most homes
are not built with the thought of their residents having to use a walker.
Few ambulatory people are truly sympathetic to the challenges of
wheeled transport. It takes a while to train friends and family not to
move your walker or put things out of your reach. Everyone has to
adjust to the new routines, even your pets.
Let’s be clear, cats are not amused by wheeled devices with
uncoordinated operators at the helm.
Author Sam Gibboney asked for Shelly's assistance in
preparing this personal essay for publication. It details her
process of learning to walk again after an acute attack of
multiple sclerosis.
UNEDITED VERSION:
Few ambulatory people are truly sympathetic to the challenges of
wheeled transport. Friends and family must be trained not to move
your walker or to put things out of your reach. Everyone has to adjust
to new routines, even your pets. Let’s be clear, cats are not amused
by wheeled devices with uncoordinated operators at the helms. The
world is not built for those of us who can’t walk. Steps are everywhere,
doorways are too narrow, counters are too high.
EDITED VERSION:
The above paragraph needed reordering for clarity, plus the
addition of paragraph breaks and one transitional sentence.
The world is not built for those of us who can’t walk. Steps are
everywhere, doors are too narrow, counters are too high. Most homes
are not built with the thought of their residents having to use a walker.
Few ambulatory people are truly sympathetic to the challenges of
wheeled transport. It takes a while to train friends and family not to
move your walker or put things out of your reach. Everyone has to
adjust to the new routines, even your pets.
Let’s be clear, cats are not amused by wheeled devices with
uncoordinated operators at the helm.
Author Sam Gibboney asked for Shelly's assistance in
preparing this personal essay for publication. It details her
process of learning to walk again after an acute attack of
multiple sclerosis.
"Working on the
editorial process
with Shelly Randall
so improved the
finished product that
I felt I should be
listing her as the co-
author.
"Her precision and
thoroughness was
amazing. She found
stylistic inconsis-
tencies 100 pages
apart and was
gentle in her
corrections, allowing
me plenty of room
for 'artistic license.'
"With Shelly as a
potential partner,
the thought of
another literary
project is far less
intimidating than it
might otherwise be."
—Stan Cummings,
editing client &
author of Behind the
Hedge
editorial process
with Shelly Randall
so improved the
finished product that
I felt I should be
listing her as the co-
author.
"Her precision and
thoroughness was
amazing. She found
stylistic inconsis-
tencies 100 pages
apart and was
gentle in her
corrections, allowing
me plenty of room
for 'artistic license.'
"With Shelly as a
potential partner,
the thought of
another literary
project is far less
intimidating than it
might otherwise be."
—Stan Cummings,
editing client &
author of Behind the
Hedge
| Featured Editing Project at ShellyRandall.com Author Stan Cummings hired Shelly to do a substantive edit of his self-published novel in preparation for a second-edition printing, which was finalized in the fall of 2008. Read the description & reviews of Behind the Hedge on Amazon.com. |
| All copy and photos contained within this web site (c) Shelly Randall 2005-10 unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. |
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